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Can I Be a Surrogate for Someone I Know Well?

Deciding to go with a surrogate parent brings up a lot of sensitive and possibly contentious issues.

This is why you want to do all of your research in advance and determine who could possibly be an appropriate surrogate. It is natural to assume that someone in your own family could be a good fit to serve in this important role, but you should never proceed with the process of asking someone to be a surrogate until you understand the ins and outs of being in this role.

First of all, surrogacy laws vary from one state to another, which means that it is usually possible for you to pursue gestational surrogacy for a friend or for a family member. Although in these states you could be able to carry the family member or the friend’s baby, you will not be the legal parent of this child if you have the appropriate paperwork drafted and signed. This means that you would not have to worry about maintaining a legal relationship to the child you carry. This gives you the lifelong gift of parenthood when you elect to become a surrogate mother for a friend or a family member.

But it can also make this journey, which has high emotional and physical requirements, much less emotional or stressful. If there is already an established relationship of love and trust between the surrogate and intended parents, this can break down many of the walls typically surrounding surrogacy.

Even if you know the intended parents, however, the surrogacy process can be a long one. It is highly recommended that you evaluate and complete all other stages of the surrogacy process with the help of a surrogacy agency or lawyer so that you understand what to expect and minimize the potential for problems. The right lawyer will walk you through the agreements, contracts, and other legal implications of being a surrogate.

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